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Richard Davis
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- Austria
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The Facecloth
This has to be read, laughed at and passed on. There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!
I was due for a smear with the doctor later in the week. Early one
morning, I received a call from the doctor's office t…
Irish Logic
Finally - - An answer I can Understand.
An American tourist asks an Irishman, "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies, "Ya edgit!! If dey fell forwards, deyed still be in da fookin b…
Hint: picture was taken in 1956... Answer below...
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It's a hard disk drive from back in 1956... with 5 MB of storage.
In September 1956, IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first 'SUPER' computer with a hard disk drive (HDD).
The HDD…
Two Elederly ladies were sitting on the beach when a
handsome boy jogged past themin the nude.
One old lady had a stroke...the other couldn't quite reach.
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to bliste…
Cindy if you stopposting I will go on strike!
Gosh, I'm rich!
Silver in the Hair
Gold in the Teeth
Crystals in the Kidneys
Sugar in the Blood
Lead in the Ass
Iron in the Arteries
And…
an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.
When you have an
'I Hate My Job' , Day[Even if you're retired,
You sometimes have those days]
Try this out:
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.
Be very sure you get th…
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbitth?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level…
Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate 'aging' baby boomers who can remember doing the "Limbo as if it were yesterday. They include:
Herman's Hermits ---Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker
Rin…
An elderly gent goes into a drugstore and asks for 6 viagra tablets cut into quarters. The Pharmacists agrees but tells the old man that the quarters will not give him an erection.
I'm 96 replies the man.
I don't want an erection!
I just want i…
Subject: FW: This Is Incredible
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.... Read all the Numbers...Slowly and in Order!!
Be Careful not to MISS ANY
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30
Scroll down .................…
When you walk out the door in the morning and see this......
Just go back in the house,
Pour another cup of coffee,
And stay there.
It probably isn't going to be a good day....
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your c…
Paddy tells Mick ….
He's thinking of buying a Labrador.
“Fook off ”say's Mick, “ Are you mad???!!!! - have you seen how many of their owners go blind??
Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He had been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that thing called when two people sleep in the…
This is mythical and deep... truly beautiful...
A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answer…
Profile Information
- Relationship Status
- Married
- Looking For
- Friends
- Political Beliefs
- Independent
- Interests
- Reading, Music, Arts & winter sports...watching
- Favourite Music
- Classical
- Favourite Books
- Thrillers
- About Me
- Moved to Austria 4 years ago as my other half is Austrian. I have visited Toronto and Calgary a few times. I like the Canadians, as the are less uptight than their neighbours. I have family in both Canada and America...but still like Canada the best.
I have Multiple Sclerosis and I'm a member of the British MS site so I will openly steal peoples jokes here to post there...unless anyone can prove copyright I make no apologies lol. I do apologise for repeated jokes as MS does affect my memory...well that's my excuse lol
Richard Davis's Photos
Comment Wall (4 comments)
- At 9:26am on May 3, 2010,
Cindy Bear said… - Welcoming you most graciously as my friend Richard. Vienna!!! One of the most beatiful places in Europe I would love to visit, but can't see it in the near future, distant maybe. Having MS isn't easy and a fellow classmate from high school is battling with disease, Dave Leonard. He works with a wheelchair mobility company and used to live next door to my sister. How strange is that, eh! Well, his wife wasn't very understanding about his illness and dropped him like a hot potatoe. She just booted him out of the house. Can't seem to like people like that, you know what I mean Richard. The closest of getting to Vienna, was in Dec 2007 at the Rogers Centre (Toronoto), where I the priviledge to hear Andre Reiu. Won tickets thru AM740. Like yourself, have been a lover of Canada ever since I could remember. First visit was 1973 with my BFF Margaret Simmons (RIP). That;'s the only photo I've got of her and me, outside the Ontario Science Centre. Well, welcome again my friend and keep me laughing with your jokes. I think like you, the jokes aren't copyrighted, so anyone can use them. Readers Digest has some pretty good ones.
Smiles to you and your lovely wife
- At 4:42pm on March 23, 2010,
clara simpson said… - I welcome you to our group and your jokes are all appreciated,i enjoy laughing reading it.
- At 6:38pm on March 14, 2010,
maria griffin said… - Told your seniors/hypnotist joke to my husband...and got "Oh noooooo" hahahahaha. Good one!
- At 4:57am on March 13, 2010,
Annette Tilden said… - Hi Richard: Welcome to my Laugh Out Loud group. I see you have already made a contribution and I think you're going to fit right in. LOL.
Cheers, Annette
Dilbert
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