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I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. No parent should have to bear such a loss.
Tragities are so hard to overcome. I never lost a child but then I never had much luck keeping a husband either. Mine left us when my girls were in their teens. Couldn't handle family committments I guess. I lived with someone after that but that turned out to be an even bigger mistake. He left with everything I owned and took up with someone younger. So as my favourite saying goes "You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again" which is exactly what I did at 55 and now I really am quite content. Time does make a difference. So keep your chin up and go with the flow.